Other Gender Myths
Here are some other gender myths that are floating around society. As you look at some of these stereotypes, stop and consider which ones you have bought into.
WOMEN - Language heard by women is an emotional experience
MEN - Language heard by men is the receiving of information
ACTUAL TRUTH - The tendency to hear language through a certain grid or mind-set has nothing to do with gender. It has more to do with Social Style. Analyticals and Drivers tend to focus on facts and informa-tion while Amiables and Expressives tend to focus on the emotional experience that transpires between people.
WOMEN - Tend to take everything personally
MEN - Tend to take everything impersonally
ACTUAL TRUTH - Individuals who lean toward the Analytical or Amiable Social style have more of a tendency to take things personally. On the other hand, the Driving and Expressive Social Styles tend to take comments and situations more impersonally.
WOMEN - Like to go shopping
MEN - Get in, get what they need and get out
ACTUAL TRUTH - All Drivers hate to shop, whether men or women. They get in, get what they need, and get out. Analyticals like to compare prices at different places. Amiables go with the flow on shopping and Expressives like the social interaction of being out in public in general.
WOMEN - Their spoken language is an expression of what they are feeling
MEN - Their spoken language is an expression of what they are thinking
ACTUAL TRUTH - Both women and men can express what they are thinking or feeling. Analytical and Driving men and women have a tendency to be more expressive of their thoughts. Amiable and Expressive men and women have a tendency to be more expressive of their feelings.
WOMEN - Are more interested in the details, the nitty-gritty
MEN - Are interested in the principle, the abstract, the philosophy
ACTUAL TRUTH - Individuals, male or female, with the Analytical and Amiable Social Style are more interested in details, facts, and how things interrelate. Driver and Expres-sive men and women have little interest in a multitude of details. They want to know the goal, the principle, and the bottom line. They are big-picture in nature.
WOMEN - Are like computers with their minds going and going until the problem is solved
MEN - Are like filing cabinets that store problems and then close the drawer and forget it
ACTUAL TRUTH - It has nothing to do with gender. The minds of Analyticals and Amiables have a tendency to replay information and situations over and over again in their thinking. Driver and Expressive men and women are more interested in new developments and future situations and tend more to leave the past behind.
WOMEN - A woman’s home is an extension of her personality
MEN - A man’s job is the extension of his personality
ACTUAL TRUTH - This concept may have an element of truth in it because many women do not work outside of the home. However, for many men, their home is an extension of their personality . . . and for working women their job is also an extension of their personality. Personality is displayed at home and work by both men and women through the avenue of their own Social Style uniqueness.
WOMEN - Tend to be guilt-prone
MEN - Tend to be resentful
ACTUAL TRUTH - Well, there goes another myth. There are plenty of resentful women in this world and there are equally enough guilt-prone men. Drivers and Expressives seem to struggle more with anger issues (resentful-ness) and Analyticals and Amiables with fear issues (guilt-proneness). It is more of a universal human nature problem than a gender issue.
WOMEN - Tend to become involved more easily and quickly
MEN - Tend to stand back and evaluate and volunteer slowly
ACTUAL TRUTH - Shyness and being disinterested is not a gender issue. Analyticals and Amiables tend to be a little more withdrawn while Drivers and Expressives are more outgoing. On the other hand Analyticals and Drivers lean toward accomplishing tasks while Amiables and Expressives lean toward nurturing relationships rather than launching into activity.
WOMEN - Seem to never forget anything
MEN - Have to be told over and over again
ACTUAL TRUTH - You have probably met plenty of ditzy women. They have been fodder for all the ‘blond jokes.’ On the other hand there are men who are walking encyclopedias. Gender is not the issue. Analyticals can be very legalistic, Drivers can be revengeful, Amiables can be procrastinators, and Expressives can be extremely forgetful.
WOMEN - Like to have security
MEN - Like to take risks
ACTUAL TRUTH - Risk taking or the need for security is not a gender issue. Analyticals and Amiables tend to desire stability and financial security. Drivers and Expressives like to take more risks, hoping for the bigger return. Even in non-financial situations, Drivers and Expressives tend to take more risks in life than Amiables and Analyticals.
WOMEN - Are bad drivers
MEN - Are good drivers
ACTUAL TRUTH - You have probably encountered plenty of terrible drivers, whether men or women. It’s not a gender is-sue. Amiables and Analyticals tend to be slower and more careful drivers. Expressives and Drivers tend to take more risks as drivers and lean towards the fast and impatient side of driving.
WOMEN - Like cats and small, cuddly animals
MEN - Like dogs and big, burley animals
ACTUAL TRUTH - There are plenty of women in the world who hate cats and plenty of men who own tea cup poodles. Generally speaking, Driver Social Styles do not gravitate towards small, cuddly animals, whether male or female. Drivers are not the most warm and fuzzy people in the world, so you won’t hear them eek out an “awwwww” when someone shoves a kitten in their face.
WOMEN - Are always late
MEN - Are always on time, waiting for women.
ACTUAL TRUTH - You will see this myth perpetuated in movies and sitcoms. Men are always waiting on women who habitually run late. It’s not a gender issue. Drivers and Analyticals are rarely ever late. They are usually on time, or early. Amiables and Expressives tend to run late unless they have a Driver or Expressive secondary element to their social style.
WOMEN - Are more cooperative
MEN - Are morecompetitive
ACTUAL TRUTH - Women can be just as competitive as men. It’s more of a social style issue than gender. Drivers and Expressives tend to be more competitive than Amiables and Analyticals. Drivers are especially competitive, whether male or female. If you’re not convinced women can be competitive, take a look at Hilary Clinton (a Driver) in the 2008 presidential primary race.
WOMEN - Are more tactful and full of grace
MEN - Are more blunt and to the point
ACTUAL TRUTH - Amiables and Analyticals tend to be more tactful and full of grace because they hate conflict. Drivers and Expressives tend to be blunt and to the point, often offending people with their approach. It is definitely not a gender issue as you have probably experienced some pretty abrasive women as well as men in your life.
WOMEN - Tend to become depressed under stress or in conflict
MEN - Tend to explode under stress or in conflict
ACTUAL TRUTH - Your general response to conflict is not dictated by gender. It is determined by your social style and what you were taught growing up. Your first, instinctual response to conflict is to give in if you’re an Amiable, attack or explode if you’re an Expressive, withdraw if you’re an Analytical, and control if you’re a Driver. Amiables and Analyticals get more depressed about stress and conflict than Drivers and Expressives.
WOMEN - Want to just talk through problems or be listened to
MEN - Want to take control and solve a problem
ACTUAL TRUTH - How you approach problems is a social style issue, not gender. Drivers are the ones who want to take the bull by the horn and control and solve the problem quickly. Analyticals want to analyze and think through it. Amiables want to collaborate with others first. Expressives want to talk and vent about the problem and they want to give everyone else unsolicited advice on how to solve their problems.
-Excerpt from Kimberly Alyn's book titled Men Are Slobs Women Are Neat... and Other Gender Lies that Damage Relationships (co-author Bob Phillips)
WOMEN - Language heard by women is an emotional experience
MEN - Language heard by men is the receiving of information
ACTUAL TRUTH - The tendency to hear language through a certain grid or mind-set has nothing to do with gender. It has more to do with Social Style. Analyticals and Drivers tend to focus on facts and informa-tion while Amiables and Expressives tend to focus on the emotional experience that transpires between people.
WOMEN - Tend to take everything personally
MEN - Tend to take everything impersonally
ACTUAL TRUTH - Individuals who lean toward the Analytical or Amiable Social style have more of a tendency to take things personally. On the other hand, the Driving and Expressive Social Styles tend to take comments and situations more impersonally.
WOMEN - Like to go shopping
MEN - Get in, get what they need and get out
ACTUAL TRUTH - All Drivers hate to shop, whether men or women. They get in, get what they need, and get out. Analyticals like to compare prices at different places. Amiables go with the flow on shopping and Expressives like the social interaction of being out in public in general.
WOMEN - Their spoken language is an expression of what they are feeling
MEN - Their spoken language is an expression of what they are thinking
ACTUAL TRUTH - Both women and men can express what they are thinking or feeling. Analytical and Driving men and women have a tendency to be more expressive of their thoughts. Amiable and Expressive men and women have a tendency to be more expressive of their feelings.
WOMEN - Are more interested in the details, the nitty-gritty
MEN - Are interested in the principle, the abstract, the philosophy
ACTUAL TRUTH - Individuals, male or female, with the Analytical and Amiable Social Style are more interested in details, facts, and how things interrelate. Driver and Expres-sive men and women have little interest in a multitude of details. They want to know the goal, the principle, and the bottom line. They are big-picture in nature.
WOMEN - Are like computers with their minds going and going until the problem is solved
MEN - Are like filing cabinets that store problems and then close the drawer and forget it
ACTUAL TRUTH - It has nothing to do with gender. The minds of Analyticals and Amiables have a tendency to replay information and situations over and over again in their thinking. Driver and Expressive men and women are more interested in new developments and future situations and tend more to leave the past behind.
WOMEN - A woman’s home is an extension of her personality
MEN - A man’s job is the extension of his personality
ACTUAL TRUTH - This concept may have an element of truth in it because many women do not work outside of the home. However, for many men, their home is an extension of their personality . . . and for working women their job is also an extension of their personality. Personality is displayed at home and work by both men and women through the avenue of their own Social Style uniqueness.
WOMEN - Tend to be guilt-prone
MEN - Tend to be resentful
ACTUAL TRUTH - Well, there goes another myth. There are plenty of resentful women in this world and there are equally enough guilt-prone men. Drivers and Expressives seem to struggle more with anger issues (resentful-ness) and Analyticals and Amiables with fear issues (guilt-proneness). It is more of a universal human nature problem than a gender issue.
WOMEN - Tend to become involved more easily and quickly
MEN - Tend to stand back and evaluate and volunteer slowly
ACTUAL TRUTH - Shyness and being disinterested is not a gender issue. Analyticals and Amiables tend to be a little more withdrawn while Drivers and Expressives are more outgoing. On the other hand Analyticals and Drivers lean toward accomplishing tasks while Amiables and Expressives lean toward nurturing relationships rather than launching into activity.
WOMEN - Seem to never forget anything
MEN - Have to be told over and over again
ACTUAL TRUTH - You have probably met plenty of ditzy women. They have been fodder for all the ‘blond jokes.’ On the other hand there are men who are walking encyclopedias. Gender is not the issue. Analyticals can be very legalistic, Drivers can be revengeful, Amiables can be procrastinators, and Expressives can be extremely forgetful.
WOMEN - Like to have security
MEN - Like to take risks
ACTUAL TRUTH - Risk taking or the need for security is not a gender issue. Analyticals and Amiables tend to desire stability and financial security. Drivers and Expressives like to take more risks, hoping for the bigger return. Even in non-financial situations, Drivers and Expressives tend to take more risks in life than Amiables and Analyticals.
WOMEN - Are bad drivers
MEN - Are good drivers
ACTUAL TRUTH - You have probably encountered plenty of terrible drivers, whether men or women. It’s not a gender is-sue. Amiables and Analyticals tend to be slower and more careful drivers. Expressives and Drivers tend to take more risks as drivers and lean towards the fast and impatient side of driving.
WOMEN - Like cats and small, cuddly animals
MEN - Like dogs and big, burley animals
ACTUAL TRUTH - There are plenty of women in the world who hate cats and plenty of men who own tea cup poodles. Generally speaking, Driver Social Styles do not gravitate towards small, cuddly animals, whether male or female. Drivers are not the most warm and fuzzy people in the world, so you won’t hear them eek out an “awwwww” when someone shoves a kitten in their face.
WOMEN - Are always late
MEN - Are always on time, waiting for women.
ACTUAL TRUTH - You will see this myth perpetuated in movies and sitcoms. Men are always waiting on women who habitually run late. It’s not a gender issue. Drivers and Analyticals are rarely ever late. They are usually on time, or early. Amiables and Expressives tend to run late unless they have a Driver or Expressive secondary element to their social style.
WOMEN - Are more cooperative
MEN - Are morecompetitive
ACTUAL TRUTH - Women can be just as competitive as men. It’s more of a social style issue than gender. Drivers and Expressives tend to be more competitive than Amiables and Analyticals. Drivers are especially competitive, whether male or female. If you’re not convinced women can be competitive, take a look at Hilary Clinton (a Driver) in the 2008 presidential primary race.
WOMEN - Are more tactful and full of grace
MEN - Are more blunt and to the point
ACTUAL TRUTH - Amiables and Analyticals tend to be more tactful and full of grace because they hate conflict. Drivers and Expressives tend to be blunt and to the point, often offending people with their approach. It is definitely not a gender issue as you have probably experienced some pretty abrasive women as well as men in your life.
WOMEN - Tend to become depressed under stress or in conflict
MEN - Tend to explode under stress or in conflict
ACTUAL TRUTH - Your general response to conflict is not dictated by gender. It is determined by your social style and what you were taught growing up. Your first, instinctual response to conflict is to give in if you’re an Amiable, attack or explode if you’re an Expressive, withdraw if you’re an Analytical, and control if you’re a Driver. Amiables and Analyticals get more depressed about stress and conflict than Drivers and Expressives.
WOMEN - Want to just talk through problems or be listened to
MEN - Want to take control and solve a problem
ACTUAL TRUTH - How you approach problems is a social style issue, not gender. Drivers are the ones who want to take the bull by the horn and control and solve the problem quickly. Analyticals want to analyze and think through it. Amiables want to collaborate with others first. Expressives want to talk and vent about the problem and they want to give everyone else unsolicited advice on how to solve their problems.
-Excerpt from Kimberly Alyn's book titled Men Are Slobs Women Are Neat... and Other Gender Lies that Damage Relationships (co-author Bob Phillips)
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